Tuesday, October 31, 2006

America Runs on Duncan

Those Duncan Donuts commercials are so catchy...whichever advertising company came up with that has to be making tons of money (speaking of which...do advertising companies advertise themselves? Or do they hire a different advertising company to advertise them?). The best one is the "It's like 1 million degrees" where they are on the beach. The new one, "Alarm Clock Catastrophe" is a close second, with the "Karaateee" one a distant third. If my coffee consumption wasn't already far too high, I'm sure those commercials would be working on me, getting me to be a good consumer and buy more coffee. Maybe they are already working on me and I don't realize it. Hmmm...that might make sense; I never buy Starbucks any more, though that has a lot to do with the fact that the only Starbucks around is across Hancock Street, the most dangerous road to cross ever! The crosswalks are like 1000 feet apart, forcing constant jaywalking all the way up and down the street.

Also about Duncan Donuts, has anyone ever noticed that every new invention they make is horrible? Hash browns? To paraphrase Donkey from Shrek 2: "The position of crappy fried potatoey things has already been filled (by McDonald's)." And French Toast Twists? Um...I think calling hard crusty bread wrapped up with a gross hard syruppy mass French Toast is like calling Ben Affleck the next Lawrence Olivier. Ok, to go off on another tangent, has Ben Affleck made a good movie in the last 7 years? I'll give him Dogma and Good Will Hunting, but Gigli? Paycheck? Sum of All Fears? Surviving Christmas? Hollywoodland?

When a director goes into a board meeting with the head of Paramount Pictures or Columbia Tri-Star and utters the statement, "We really see Ben Affleck in this role" how do they not immediately toss him out into the gutter?

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